Soo..#movesUpNDownUncomfortably.. yesterday Bonolo Rebotile Mokwena nominated me to do the 7 Day Grateful Challenge and just yesterday Lungelo nominated me to list Four things I was grateful about,well I mean this is a sign ain't it?. I feel that God wants me to learn how to be grateful with absolutely everything that happens in my life,I waste so much time complaining and feeling like nothing I have or do is ever good enough or simply enough.
So for #Day1 of this challenge I've decided to be grateful for my life,my body,mind and most importantly for being Miranda Fezeka Mpumelelo Dlamini. Yes I know this may sound egotistical and stuff but if you knew me well enough you'd know I'm definitely not about that life. Anyway I think it'll make sense if I take it back so you can understand why I'm being grateful for being Me.
'Miracle baby'
I'm a C-section baby,my mom had to receive general anaesthetic so I could be delivered and I happened to react to it. So when I was delivered I was 'flat' and scored an Apgar score of 2/10,meaning I had an extremely low pulse,barely breathing and unresponsive. I was born at 8 am and had to be put under life support and be resuscitated but I continued to remain unresponsive. In zulu it was a 'Kumbulwa kwembeswa' type of situation. My mom was in severe pain from the surgery and she then had to deal with the fact that her newborn baby could possibily not make it. At around 3-4 in the afternoon the entire hospital was brought to life from a scorching scream coming from a newborn who happened to be me,after hours of being under life support.The doctors and nurses who helped deliver me were constantly praying and I finally came around and scored a perfect 10/10. My mom was told that since I was born in such a severe condition I'd never grow up to be a 'normal' baby,and by normal I mean I'd be a slow learner,different from other kids and be a sickly child.
That now brings me to the core of this whole post...
'Achiever,definitely not sickly and perfectly 'normal'
#Achiever - I think I was blessed with intellectual genes from both my parents. I never had a learning problem throughout my schooling career and I always achieved well academically. (I know this is going to seem like I'm blowing my own horn but trust me this post is far from that,It's about me being grateful for what I have). Anyway my mom would tell me how she'd attend award ceremonies at school and I'd always come home with academic and poetry prizes (was never the sporty type),I mean every kid was clever in primary school right??.In my matric year I was in the Top 3 from the class of 2012 and also walked away with a few subject prizes,academic colours and a few other awards. Now remember earlier I mentioned that the doctors said I would be a slow learner but God has proved science wrong and is doing amazing things in my life.
#DefinetlyNotSickly- The last time I was admitted to hospital was at age 6 where I had a runny tummy and was dehydrated. Of course I get the occasional flu now and then but it's never anything serious or life threatening which the doctors predicted I would suffer from. I'm not much of a 'pill' person and you'd never find a medicine cabinet at home or at my place because we don't really need it. In my household if u get a headache you're simply told by mom to pray for your healing and believe that you will be healed,that's just how it is. And yes incase you're wondering I do use medlemon and corenza when I have flu,and no I'm not against using medicine and stuff this is just my testimony.
#PerfectlyNormal- by this I mean I was never the different or abnormal child growing up. Never the outcast and I'd like to think I turned out to be a pretty chilled kid.
Yea phew I know what an essay this turned out to be but I just wanted to share a piece of myself and where everything started. As mom would say I'm her miracle baby and I will always be grateful to God for turning things around when doctors had signed on the dotted line and predicted how my future would be.
I was never satisfied with myself or anything I had,I always felt like I could push myself to do even better and no this is not overachiever tendencies but insecure and low self esteem tendencies.I realise that God turned things around for me so I could share my testimony oneday. I remember at my matric ball ceremony I received the #FML award (Fvxk my life award,exuse the french) and I remember that as I walked up to receive it I had a smile on my face as if it was something to be proud of. The presenter of the award even said and I quote 'She thinks she's not pretty enough, her grades are never good enough and she has a negative mindsite and that's why the #FML award goes to...'. I was in such a dark place where I compared myself all the time,my self esteem was at its complete lowest and nothing was ever good enough. I was a living breathing definition of Negative. I know it sounds pretty pathetic right?? I mean I'm so freakin blessed,gosh can't believe it took me forever to realise what a precious jewel I am (allow please,lol)..
Anywhu I don't really like posting things that put me in a vulnerable position where my emotions are exposed but I feel that from this someone will get encouraged,someone will learn something or anything but as long as it makes a certain change in someone's life I don't mind.
Now I'm not saying that I now absolutely love myself and I'm completely positive about eveything but I realised I had a problem and started making changes as I said in my previous post I'm under #GodStruction,a work in progress and I thank God for opening my eyes.
♡ Miranda Fezeka Mpumelelo Dlamini
